We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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