I cockslap morals
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
