It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
