hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
