The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize