We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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