OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
