I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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