it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
