i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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