"it" just moved
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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