I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
