Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
