so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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