Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
