if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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