This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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