i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
