just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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