He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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