Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
