It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
