I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
