What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize