I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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