ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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