Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
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There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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