first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize