I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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