he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
