writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
