you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
