What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
