I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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