I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So vagazzling was a success
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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