So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
