Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
The ass gains better be worth it
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