Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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