We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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