Capitaan dildo arrescate!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize