I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
