Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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