omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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