Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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