i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
