i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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