Can Purell be used as lube?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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