I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
