..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm jealous of your bromance
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
