I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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