I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
