i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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