remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
