Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
