I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
