You're my little dorito
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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