so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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