i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
