you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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